Yeah, I figured the paravirtualized items (virtio) needed drivers, so definitely sticking with e1000 for the NIC and AHCI for the storage. I'm pretty sure it's the CPU model, and going through the different QEMU options (yes, these are QEMU CPU models) and I either get the stupid unsupported CPU message, the PSOD, or it hangs on booting the installer. I think I might switch to the kvm64 model and pass in the allow unsupported option to see if we can get it to boot.
Basically, what I'm looking to do is have a temporary swing host that I can vMotion everything to so I can patch my main box, then move them back. Once I get everything for my second host, then I won't need this. Otherwise, my old host, which is a barebones build, will still be used. no seriously, when I say barebones:
At least the new ESXi host is "proper"
He's the second from the top. Second form the bottom is the TrueNAS Scale box in all his glory, and yes, that is the basement toilet next to the rack. Sometimes, the basement bathroom, with it's exhaust fan, is the best home server room...