Just following up on this thead, I got the "
Mellanox MCX311A-XCAT CX311A 10Gb SFP+ ConnectX-3". The vendor I bought it from updated the firmware to 2.24.5000, which was whatever the most up-to-date firmware was.
After I installed the card and rebooted into TrueNAS Core (version 13.0-U4), the card was immediately recognized without any special configuration. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't not have to setup any "tunables". I installed it 3 weeks ago, and it has been working without any issues. The media subtype appears as "10Gbase-CX4".