Oh my. You are even more confused than I thought. That's not an insult, that's just what I've seen.
ping -s doesn't even do what you want it to do. I can ping -s 9000 x.x.x.x despite not having jumbo frames and it *will* work. It's supposed to work. But the packets are resized down, then reassembled at the destination... observe..
[root@freenas] ~# ping -s 9000 192.168.2.1
PING 192.168.2.1 (192.168.2.1): 9000 data bytes
9008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=0 ttl=64 time=0.379 ms
9008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=1 ttl=64 time=0.395 ms
9008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=2 ttl=64 time=0.375 ms
9008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=3 ttl=64 time=0.415 ms
^C
--- 192.168.2.1 ping statistics ---
4 packets transmitted, 4 packets received, 0.0% packet loss
round-trip min/avg/max/stddev = 0.375/0.391/0.415/0.016 ms
[root@freenas] ~# ping -s 16000 192.168.2.1
PING 192.168.2.1 (192.168.2.1): 16000 data bytes
16008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=0 ttl=64 time=0.532 ms
16008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=1 ttl=64 time=0.509 ms
16008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=2 ttl=64 time=0.510 ms
16008 bytes from 192.168.2.1: icmp_seq=3 ttl=64 time=0.492 ms
^C
--- 192.168.2.1 ping statistics ---
4 packets transmitted, 4 packets received, 0.0% packet loss
round-trip min/avg/max/stddev = 0.492/0.511/0.532/0.014 ms
Note that I was able to send what appears to be 16k packets without problems. My networking hardware doesn't even support 16k (9000 is the maximum). Also notice that both of mine didn't send 9000 bytes or 16000 bytes. It's a play on numbers when you do large packets and other things, and is NOT immediately obvious.
The disparity is due to CRC, VLAN tagging (if any), and other factors. We're really getting deep into networking at this point, which is where I'm going to kind of stop because it's stuff that is far beyond the scope of this forum (and I'm probably not the most ideal source to be getting that involved with networking).
This is just another example of why we tell people that jumbo frames are pure evil. If you don't understand all the crap behind the scenes you'll be given info that makes you think thing are very broken.
As for why your ping was locking up, I have no clue what was wrong. It locking up tends to make me thing you are using an invalid configuration (beyond just an MTU mismatch). Even with MTU mismatches you'll get errors and such from failed pings. But ping should never lock up, so something more sinister is at work.
To be honest, trying to learn about jumbo frames while trying to learn a new OS is not going to end well. There's too much deep-level knowledge that needs to be understood for the casual user to understand whether the problem is because of the hardware, because of the OS, or because they have something set wrong.
Jumbo frames are, quite honestly, basically useless with today's technology. The advantages that they provided a decade ago were because of limitations in processing power of network cards, etc. Those limitations were fixed long ago (and were basically forced to be fixed for 10Gb to really have good throughput without jumbo frames). Due to the trickle down effect with technology, even 1Gb cards have that overhead resolved easily unless you go with things like Realtek. But nobody runs actual servers with Realtek if they have more than 2 brain cells. So you're really spending time on what is a dying technology. Every day that you and I wake up and go to work is that much less likelihood that we'll ever seen jumbo frames again.
My recommendation would be to stick with the default MTUs and not really even invest your time in it. It's really just not valuable in today's world except in a very very few extreme cases. Those cases are almost always handled by people with degrees in networking and other technology and so they know exactly what they want to set the MTU at (and it's often not a nice number like 9000).