Sorry if that was alarmist,
I had a terminal open, so as per freenas notifier in bottom console, it was waiting on that PID. I suppose this is normal (not closing the connection, even though the Services slider was turned OFF). I added my version to my Signature(9.3p28). sockstat confirmed this also. The Guide is also very clear(no mention of process or daemons). This was on LAN of course, so I gather the ...blah blah connection refused makes sense.
cat /etc/rc.conf|grep -i ssh
Even with service slider set to off, gives
sshd_enable="Yes"
...I guess I shouldn't assume that was the control mechanism. This noob obviously has to go read much more of that wonderful documentation that FreeBSD and FreeNAS are famous for (Thanks a bunch DL). Please tag this Solved or something so as not to waste members' time.