There's actually 6 of us working two shifts, with a third empty shift so as to not arouse suspicion. Be sure to tell us what tipped you off, so we can fix that. There's a door around here that says "Private - management only", behind which we hear some ominous screams. We're split 2-3 on whether it's really haunted or just a scare tactic. Sixth guy says the door is a fake. Either way, we'd really like to not find out for sure, so let's pretend this didn't happen.
We're already betting that this post will get lost among 5.6k+ posts. His monitoring has been a bit lax, so we should be ok.
This post has been removed from public view by jgreco. Reason: shhh, dummy, don't let Cyberjock know we're slowly catching up with him!!